Saturday, June 27, 2009

Overabundance Choice

I'm looking at this title "Overabundance Choice" and realizing that it doesn't really make sense. It may not even be correct english. But the beauty of it is, incorrect english doesn't make me sound uneducated, it makes me sound cute, you know why? coz I am foreign. I speak incorrect english in a thick accent and I go from dumb ill spoken youth -to- Cute good looking foreign man that makes girls week in the knees. Haha I just spelled "week" when I meant "weak"... adorable, no?

Tell me, though, in all seriousness, how the frack do you guys buy bread and milk in this country? I mean talk about choices. I came to the US in 99. I landed in Augusta, GA, coz I had an uncle there. seriously though that is the only reason I went, i thought i might spend a week in "Augusta" to acclimate myself to "America" before I went to school in "Portland" But that is another story... I digress. 
Choices! the first day I was in Augusta my Uncle pointed out the local grocery store in case I wanted to explore, and left for work. Feeling high and mighty with my new found independence and a few crisp dollars in my pocket I walked to the store to buy some Milk and Bread. Don't ask me why. I cant really tell why I chose to buy Milk and Bread and not Bread and Cheese, or Cheese and Milk, or Ham for a sandwich, I dont know, I just wanted to get some Milk and Bread. So i enter the store on my M&B expedition and go to the aisle that said "Breads" it didn't say "Bread" it said "BreadS" Now, I guess that should have given me some indication of what lay ahead, but come on, I am foreign...OK OK, so I walked down the aisle and stopped in front of this shelf of bread that was so large it would have left Stephen Hawking speechless.  (I tried to make a joke, but i don't really get it) Seriously though? the choices of bread? I mean Wheat, whole wheat, white, brown, 7 grain, multi grain, honey and oat, oat and honey, sourdough, Italian, potato bread (seriously what the frig is potato bread?) How can you expect me to know what kind of bread I want? I am a little boy from India whos cook gave him either a white bread sandwich (which i loved) or Brown bread sandwich (which I loathed) So, I press the button for help, and along comes this very flamboyant helper boy guy, who may have immediately wanted to make me his flamboyant helper boy guy, and asks me what I need. And this is what I say "Um, I would like some bread for a sandwich" At which point two things happened. One, I saw myself looking at myself and thinking "man what a dumb foreign thing to say", and two I saw him looking at me and thinking "man what a dumb foreign thing to say... at least he is pretty." Actually I made that last part up, I am not sure he found me attractive, I may have not been flamboyant enough, either way never let the truth get in the way of a good story. So he says "What type of bread would you like" and I say "what is the normal kind?" and he says "I guess white" and I say "white it is." and with that he was gone. Well after a little dancy twirl thingie he was gone. 
I now had my bread, and was on the Milk part of the agenda. I walked up to the cold part of the store presuming the dairy would be there (we foreigners aren't all that useless) and there they were. All the fracking Milks ever made in the world, right there in the frigid section of this store in Augusta, and I thought to myself- assfrack! Whole milk, two percent milk, one percent milk, vitamin D milk, skim milk, low fat milk... tell me America what is the difference between 1% milk and 2% milk. (actually as I ask that, the answer is obvious) But still! So, I press the button hoping its not Flamboyant boy and of course there he is twirling away in the next aisle coming to help me with my conundrum. And I say "Um I would like some milk" At this point two things happen... actually nothing happens, he just says "what kind of milk" and I say "what is the normal kind" and he says "Um I guess Whole" and I say "A Whole it is" I really did say that you know, I really did say "A whole it is" which probably sounded like "A Hole it is" What a dummy dumb dumb. 
Bread in hand, Check. Milk in hand, Check. I paid the cashier and with a not so glamourous twirl, Pirouetted my way into the parking lot and eventually to Portland... and Philly... and DC.... and New York... but that is another story. 

Oh I forgot to say-- I always forget where to put the ' in the word doesn't.  



  1. oh man :))) in here, potato bread is one of the best
    and... i like your attitude ;)

  2. Don't feel bad. I've been living in Canada all my life and I still get fluxomed when trying to buy bread. The fact that they make it with all these new grains and health products makes it all the more confusing.

    And I'm sure he thought you were attractive, who wouldn't?

  3. See you do make us guys weak in the knees too! Interesting story, never thought about what someone from another country thought of our supermarkets here with the wide array of choices. I just go in, get the brand and type I was raised on and walk out.

  4. "cute good looking foreign man that makes girls week in the knees" - says it all! i swoon :)

    no idea bread and milk can be that complicated in America. I'm from Asia too so I get it. lol

    you're really cool! and this blog entry is really cool and entertaining too. keep em coming!

  5. There's bread down here now that's got Omega oils in it lol... I was like... what the heck? But it just made it that much more interesting. There's also the same thing with different names like 2% and whole milk as an example...

    The bread though - I don't know - same thing happened to me when I was old enough to buy my own bread (when I moved out of my house). I ended up buying this bread in a "school bus" wrapper because I thought it was kind of cute lol... school bus white bread - really yummy anyway...

    I can see how all that would confuse you - heck, it confuses most people not to mention I can't imagine people coming out of country and being confronted with that lol...

  6. I once went into a store and asked for 3% percent milk and when they said there wasn't such a thing, I asked why not.

  7. The bread aisle is an aisle almost to itself in Super WalMart. So many things to consider. How soft do you want it? Do you like nuts and twigs in it? Are you concerned about high fructose corn syrup or white flour? I am trying to get rid of the high fructose corn syrup from our diets (I have a son who is almost 5) so I read labels. Arnold makes tasty breads without HFCS. So I just need to choose which type from that smaller section. Usually I get Italian.
    Milk is simpler now that I only get Organic milk. I was raised on 2%, so I get organic 2% milk and that leaves me with 2-3 containers to choose from. I go by price then.
    I can see how this would be overwhelming to anyone. It sometimes still overwhelms me. I get that feeling when I go clothes shopping. All the racks of stuff that basically looks the same and you have to try it on... I've been known to panic and run.

    I'm glad you started this blog. I love your show, I love your accent and cute smile, and I love reading about different people's lives.


  8. I always go for wonder bread or sara lee because it's always the softest. and with milk, i always get store brand, and it's just whether I'm in a whole or skim mood.
    you are seriously adorable.

  9. Remember when in England the milkman delivered the milk and cream and such. And then you go up to the High Street to get meat from the butcher,green grocer and the to baker where mummy would by bread and cakes for teatime. I miss that. VampVixxen

  10. Hee, my parents (also from India) had many many similar experiences in England. Like when someone told my dad "John dropped the letter in the mailbox" he kept wondering again and again why John had dropped to the floor. XD

  11. I can understand it at all. Also I´m forenger when i talk or write in other idioms, but it is true, it have a cute point. I imagine is tha same when someone else try to talk in other languajes... I feel so nervious and funny trying to talk in english, or in hindi (of course simple sentences, i had not study it enough) sorry, too much Bollywood XD
    I´m wondering... when the bread become in 1000 kinds of breads, or when I will drink just milk and no milk with vitamines, or milk without milk? hahaha

  12. That is a great story. I could listen to you list of types of bread in your adorable accent forever and never get bored.

  13. It's so funny cos I read this whole (not hole) article with a foreign accent not English lol. And you don't need the accent to be hot ;)

  14. You have brilliant insight! It's true, there is way too much choice. My local supermarket has a bread section that is practically the size of my apartment - why do we need 15 styles of this type, 20 of another? Just as well you didn't go for cheese and ham as well, you'd have been there all day!

  15. That Story is all sorts of fantastic. If it makes you feel any better you should have seen this Iowan born girl walk into a whole foods for the first time...confused the hell outta me!

  16. I do like your blog. Felt similar moving to London, turns out high maintenance southerners require more choice than we wee scottish folk. Don't want to bother you, but i've just started blogging too, if you want to check it out, that'd be awesome, I don't have any followers yet! It's

    Keep on blogging babe, love it!

  17. I don't know what potato bread is exactly, but what I do kno?? It is quite delish!

    And yes, you are adorable =D

  18. I´de made a video of TBBT months ago I hope you´ll enjoy it

  19. LOL. I'm offendend, italian potato bread is like, the SHIT, man...
    As an italian in London, I do relate a lot to you. The bread aisle in Tesco is about 50 yards long. Not cool, when all you want is a ciabatta.

  20. It seems the overabundance of choice is all over the place nowadays. Actually, it's become so much of an "issue" that people are writing books about it... Like this guy Barry Schwartz, for example, he's a psychologist who wrote a book about how too many choices hinders and paralyzes us. Y'know... a kind of false sense of freedom, I imagine? It's a pretty interesting theory, and obviously something we can all relate to. :D

    Nice blog, by the way, your honesty is certainly commendable. Keep it up!

    (Whoops, "Fan Moment" alert) Also, love love love your work on BBT, can't wait for next season. (end of "Fan Moment")

  21. You are very cute, very witty and I love your blog. Speaking about bread, I went to Subway for lunch, and I was quite flustered when they asked what kind of bread I wanted....they had like 5 or 6 choices. I told the guy, I just want bread, you know bread like on a sandwich.


  22. Kunal--you have the greatest sense of humor and observation. Loving the blog--please keep it up.

  23. uuy nunca había pensado lo complicado que es elegir pan y leche, la verdad siempre compro lo mismo, hallulla y marraqueta y leche entera, es que los días pasan rápido, no hay mucho tiempo para pensar

  24. I think I should be exactly than you!,Im very shy and If (i hope)go to USA one day, ít will be very hard for me to communicate with other people.. It seems that everybody is looking at you and saying.. look at him .. he doesn´t speak well.. but I think that in any place always there are people that helps you!.

  25. If there were any doubt, it is gone. I love your brain! *swoon

    Fair is fair, tho - naan, bhatura ... one is flat, one is fluffy... how does it know what to do?

    and just why is the sauce in chicken makhani so incredibly yummy that I wanna roll around in it?!

  26. hey qute.. you know, here in Argentina we only have white and black bread also, and regular and skim milk... so I think most of us would feel as confused as you in the bread or milk aisle jaja...

    The bad thing is I'm really shy, so I don't think I would dare to ask anybody about waht bread to buy :)

    If it makes you feel any better, I never know hot to spell THOUGHTS jaja (I just looked that up in the dictionary by the way)

    Keep up with the blog... I'm really enjoying it...

    Best wishes and kisses from Argentina

  27. I'm not from America either, so i understand how hard it must be with the choices haha!!

    OMG. This post was HILARIOUS beyond words, btw.
    By the end i just couldn't stop laughing, hahahaha!!!

    Really good post. Great style. I love it!!! Please, keep it up :)! You're delightful.

    xo from France, cutie!

  28. Hiii
    I'm from Brazil, and I got say, just found your blog - loved it!
    Won't stop reading it !

    Kisses from all your fans here in Brazil!!


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  30. Can't wait for your next entry

  31. hahahaha!!! xDDDD Damned American storages :P I was living for a month in Ireland and when I was going to buy something I didn´t know what kind should I choose.... damned Irish storages too!!! :P
    Anyway, here in Spain I drink milk with Omega 3, which is much better than eat blue fish (argggg, nasty) and has almost the same profits. And our bread... is kinda different :P

  32. Your blog is fun to read. Please write more when you have time. I'm sure you will soon be too busy to write much because of working on my favorite TV show:)

  33. "Oh I forgot to say-- I always forget where to put the ' in the word doesn't. "

    ... Don't worry, It's cute! You are foreign! lol

    So, I'll make a fan comment 'cause... you know... I can't lose this chance!

    I really really love your work!
    The Big Bang Theory is one of the best television series nowadays, and your caracter is my favorite!
    I'm from Brazil too and you can be sure that you have a lot of fans here!!!

    Well, leaving behind this fan wave...

    In my country sometimes I get confused with the variety of this simple things like milk and bread. I can imagine how would be my '???' face looking at a shelf with 10,000 kinds of bread to chose in a totaly strange country.
    I think my face would be really really funny! LOL

    Sorry if I wrote something wrong... 'cause, you know... I'm foreign too ;)

    Beijos(kisses) from Brazil !!!

  34. Thanks for sharing your story. It made me smile so much!!! love your work!! ;)